Shawnee and I went to see Marley & Me tonight. It was between that and the Wrestler. I had such a good day already that I wasn’t prepared for 2 hours of watching Mickey Rourke crumble on screen. So we saw Marley & Me.
We sat in the middle of a row of seats. Had empty seats to either side of us, which was perfect. To my left, there were two empty seats and then two women at the end. The women used the empty seat next to them to hold all the junk food they had purchased (popcorn, sodas, candy–the works).
Just before showtime, a woman joins the duo to my left. Instead of sitting next to her friends, she skips the seat with all the junk food and sits right next to me. I was not happy. I obsessively think about leg room for movies and airplanes. Now I had a woman sitting right next to me for two hours.
Then it got worse. About 10 minutes into the movie, the main characters adopt a lab puppy (that should not be too much of a spoiler for anyone planning on watching the movie). The first night he has the dog, Owen Wilson keeps the puppy in a box. This prompted the woman next to me to say in a baby-talk voice, “Ooooh! Puppy doesn’t want to sleep in a box.” When the dog started chewing on the sofa, she said, “Puppy! You’re not supposed to chew on the furniture.” This didn’t stop for quite some time.
In other words, this woman had a monologue with a dog on a movie screen for over 30 minutes. In another weird and inexplicable development, she stopped talking to the dog character when it got to be an adult.
She could have just gone to the dog beach, talked to all the dogs she wants, and saved herself $20 for the ticket and concessions.